.:.:.:.:
RTTP
.
Mobile
:.:.:.:.
[
<--back
] [
Home
][
Pics
][
News
][
Ads
][
Events
][
Forum
][
Band
][
Search
]
full forum
|
bottom
Reply
[
login
]
SPAM Filter:
re-type this
(values are 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D,E, or F)
you are quoting a heck of a lot there.
[QUOTE]blah blah blah[/QUOTE] to reply to DestroyYouAlot.
Please remove excess text as not to re-post tons
message
[QUOTE="DestroyYouAlot:650095"][B]Music[/B] It's a well known fact that the vikings love Metal, Led Zeppelin, ABBA and music by Richard Wagner. They were the inventores of Viking Metal.They love Metal as much as they love raping and plundering.Metal lyrics are often inspirated by Viking crimes(Such as Raping dead bodies). They commit sacrifices to the God of Metal in a everyday basis,and all of them follow the rules of the God of Metal.If fact those utterly horrible screams the Vikings do when they are plundering and/or rapings,are Viking Metal lyrics.That's why we don't understand shit.If a 100% viking sings Viking Metal, everything around him will die in a 2 yards radius. Famous Viking Metal bands include bands such as Vikingarna (Viking King), DDE (Devil's Death Ensemble; originally Kill-Pillage-Rape-Burn) and Sputnik (the Norse mythological equivalent of Chuck Norris). If you want to hear some viking metal, please find, leech, and rip off songs by the band known as "manowar", because remember- manowar's made of steel, not clay. Vikings also love the Finnish folk-metal band, Finntroll. Vikings love trolls. There so God damn metal! As mentioned earlier, not all viking music is metal. Vikings sing Wagnerian opera songs while they are having sex, so that they can mix the two of the best things in life. The great scalds ABBA are also popular among the Vikings. One of the greatest viking raiding songs is Dancing Queen, a song describing the abduction of Queen Brunhilda of the Anglo-Saxons and her fate. Many Vikings have a disturbing fetish for Led Zeppelin's Immigrant song. [B]Vikings: Past, Present, and Future[/B] [B]Past[/B] If you consult a history book or other semi-reliable reference (such as your teacher, grandparent, or Wikipedia), it/they will tell you that the Vikings were not all the berserk warriors that they have become to be known as. And rather, they were farmers, tradespeople, and artists. Of course, this is completely bogus. Vikings were nothing but outrageously powerful and fearless warriors who didn't take crap from anybody. They killed, raped, pillaged, and did whatever the crap they wanted, but at the same time defended the weak, as long as those were weak didn't do anything stupid or lame or were related to George W. Bush. In fact, the only reason people sometimes believe that Vikings were more tame than they really were is because in about 1967, some kid was reading about the Vikings in his history text book and then had a nightmare about them killing his teddy bear that night. He told his parents and they complained to the school board. Of course, this was 1967 and nobody cared if some dumb kid didn't like school. But then, 20 years later in 1987, the same kid (who was not a kid anymore, he was like 30) had the dream again and as a result, refused to go anywhere without his teddy bear due to his overwealming fear that Vikings would come to chop off his precious bear's head. Vikings invented Kubb. [B]Present[/B] Vikings still exist to this day, scattered across the nordic countries. Names worth mentioning are Torkil "bjørnebitar" the stout, John "vargskjegg" the fierce and Lars "mjølnerneve" the great. All currently living in Trondheim, Norway. [B]Well-Known Vikings[/B] * Björk the Ugly - Mother of all Vikings * Flava Flav the Retard - Father of all Vikings. * Torkil "bjørnebitar" the stout * John "vargskjegg" the fierce * Lars "mjølnerneve" the great * Bruce Campbell * Viking Kong * Erik the Red. Not Eric, it's Erik. You fucking assholes. * Green giant * Percy the Pink. Known for his tasteful choice of horned helmets and armor. * Segvor the mighty flesh eather * Sigurd Sigurdssen, Duke of Sweden. * Harald Bluetooth, King of Denmark but in later days he was turned weak by girly christians. He is also the inventor of the bluetooth filesharing system, hence the name. * Ikea Ikeassen, furniture manufacturer. Inventor of the hex wrench and sex hammer. He and his men manufactured cheap, functional and attractive furniture you could build yourself. They then put it on boats and would land on beaches and set up attractive displays of living rooms, kitchens and bedrooms. When the locals came down to shop, they would rape and pillage. * Sven Goran Erikson (Englands ex-football manager) * The Melvins * Hagbert * Chuck Norris * Your mom * Lillsnorre * Röde Orm(Red Snake) * William the Bastard * George the Bastard * Dagobert the Fierce * Strom Thurmond. With name like "Strom" you pretty much have to be a viking, right? * Frank Sinatra * A guy called "Mordi" * Fredrik Wikingsson * Bill Per - The greatest viking ever. He is also a very famous movie director. * Metallurgica - a Viking band famous in it's time for being the very root of modern rock. * Finntroll - They come from Vikingland, if that's not authentic I don't know what is. * Conan O'Brien * Abba * Jeff Scott Soto * Kenneth H.(Homo) Djurhuus * Lordi * Ole Ivars * Captain Kill. The only pirate viking ever [B]Tribes[/B] * Žemaičiai * Tiny Vikings from Heikansjor * Tjuder * The Joms * Daner * Götar * Svear * Smålänningar * Guter * Not Hitler * Lost Vikings [B]Viking Weapons[/B] * Broadsword * Disease-laden Broadsword * Bastard Sword * Total Bastard Sword * Battle-Axe * Battle-Hammer * Gigantic Axe * Throwing-eggs * Exploding Peasants * Wooden sticks dipped in urine * Bow * Helmet Horns * Their Breath * Longsword * Really Longsword * Really Really Longsword * Dwarves (see dwarf tossing) * Battle metal (used to allow berserking) * Flycap mushroom (used as drugs for Berserking) * Mini-me (hidden in the massive pockets of Vikings) * Electric Guitar (only applicable to Vikings in metal bands) [B]Things Vikings Like[/B] * SPAM(and lots of it) * Axes * Swordaxes * Hammers * The Flying Spaghetti Monster * Odin * Minnesotta * Black Metal * Swordaxehammers * Boats with Cool Dragon Heads * Norse Gods * Burning Things * Mead * Axehammerswords * Raping,pillaging, and plundering * Killing Villagers * Killing monks * Killing slavs * New York Yankees * Killing gays * Killing jews * Killing christians * Long Walks on the Beach * Killing chipmunks * Thor comics * Scotland Land * Viking Women * Two viking women * Mince pie (the very reason that nowaday UK was the first target) * The sound of Thunder * Bloodsausage * the scandinavian band Bathory * Harald Foss * Killing monks * A really big steak * Øl ((Beer) Tons of it!) * Heavy Metal songs [B]Things Vikings Hate[/B] * Slavs * Gypsies * Russians * jews * Christians * Muslims * Anyone with religion, remember that Norse is not religion, it's the truth! * Non-Alcholic beer(what stupid fuck invented that?!?) * Pansy men * Guns(axe ftw) * Villagers * Monks * Landlocked countries * Other things that rape/pillage (all of which are now deceased) * Fat Chicks * Ninjas (cocky bastards) * Kiosks, anything in or near kiosks, and anything even vaugely kiosk related. * Dabbi * Britons, though they are good for slaves and easy to rule over * Slavic people, they are weak and won't stop calling us "Russians" which really sounds pathetic * Cliff, the 25th Elderbot * Weak girly southerlings * people of their tribe unworthy to become a viking (they traditionally just eat them) [B]Radioactive Vikings[/B] Vikings are a transuranic metal falling after scandinavium in the periodic table. This element does not decay, it recomposes through pillaging charges from other nearby elements. It is very unstable, dangerous and hairy. Extreme caution should be used when you are avoiding it. [/QUOTE]
top
[
Vers. 0.12
][ 0.011 secs/8 queries][
refresh
][