So I have a warrant for my arrest in California.[views:7029][posts:28]_________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:40pm - NippleViolater ""] When the_ network played in Santa Cruz, CA last summer, I experienced a night fueled by HeavyHeavyLowLow and an interesting narcocktail. Anytime we get in range, Bennett and I do are best to buy and drink as much Night Train as possible. It's the cheapest way to get as drunk as Stalin visiting a gulag on New Year's Eve. After numerous shots of Jack, glasses of beer, and that devil's punch known as night train, the HHLL guys started passing Xanax around. With the common sense and self control of Andy Dick, I quickly gobbled up my share of the mind erasing little darlings. I left a path of destruction throughout Santa Cruz of which the local hippies and homeless had never before fathomed. Bar lights, car rearview mirrors, and some poor bastard's home's front window tasted my Night Train-soaked wrath. My mind state was such that, after committing such atrocities, I didn't even run or try to hide my criminal actions. Instead, my bandmates and I simply strolled down the street until the cops rightfully stopped me and began the questioning. I was sitting on the curb explaining to the officer why my hands were bleeding. I blamed a serious game of pool on my hands' condition and played very dumb when asked what happened to the house window. In my mind, I was as smooth as 007 and operating with the same criminal genius as Lex Luthor. In reality, I looked and sounded as guilty as any drunk white trash domestic violence offender on an episode of Cops. Luckily, I wasn't arrested and was merely given a ticket for vandalism. Months later, I was told by a District Attorney that I would only have to pay $130 for the broken window. However, being without a license and penniless due to past nights of lawlessness, I wasn't able to send them the money until about two weeks ago. I think the money may have arrived a day or two late and the notice of my warrant arrived in the mail a few days ago. _____________________________________________________________ BAIL: $1500. A WARRANT HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE ARREST AND LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS IN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA MAY ARREST YOU ANYWHERE, INCLUDING YOUR HOME OR PLACE OF BUSINESS. YOU MAY AVOID ARREST BY FOLLOWING THESE INSTRUCTIONS. 1. Appear in court. (Never going to happen.) 2. May not be released on your own recognizance. (Already free fuckers!) 3. Bail must be paid in cash, check, bond, etc. (My money goes only to the drink.) ______________________________________________________________ There goes my dream of dressing up as the Rev in front of the Chinese Theater to take pictures with tourists. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:44pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] Goin back to Cali... I DONT THINK SO! |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:58pm - the_reverend ""] maybe if you dressed like a tourist? |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 1:01pm - the_reverend ""] if it helps, I can take the pictures when dog the bountry hunt comes to get you. |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 1:11pm - Conservationist ""] Send them a letter, claim you're oppressed because you're a gypsy, and threaten to sue for discrimination. It got me out of a DUI in Vermont at least. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 1:26pm - NippleViolater ""] Conservationist said:Send them a letter, claim you're oppressed because you're a gypsy, and threaten to sue for discrimination. It got me out of a DUI in Vermont at least. No fucking way! Really? Cuz I'll do it, godammit. |
| ______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 4:30pm - Mess ""] xanax and drinking heavily WILL make you black out. that's how the right side of my mirror on my truck was hit clean off. |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 5:56pm - GoatCatalyst ""] FUCK THA PO-LEECE!!! [img] |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 7:25pm - the_reverend ""] [img] |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 7:29pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] hey that sounds like a good job for Mess |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 7:38pm - sxealex ""] i didnt pay a 200 dollar speeding ticket in washington for 2 years now... havent heard a thing oddly enough |
| ______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 7:38pm - Mess ""] yes, fuck gypsies |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 7:55pm - the_reverend ""] carnies will also do this. praise be homer |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 7:58pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] Get on the trolley! |
| __________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:23pm - powerkok ""] Sounds like someone is letting out some anger. DONT let it out, man!! Keep it all in until it explodes!! Its just more awesome that way!! Hahaha fuckin cahps at the door from cali....ha. Conservationalist....if that is true, its fucking hilarious. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:55pm - NippleViolater ""] I just can't believe they're trying to fool me into thinking there's actually any kind of law in Santa Cruz. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:59pm - powerkok ""] There are no laws in any state where the Terminator is in charge. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 11:48pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] NippleViolater said:I just can't believe they're trying to fool me into thinking there's actually any kind of law in Santa Cruz. except for... MARTIAN LAW [img] |
| __________________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 6:44am - corpus_colostomy ""] I have one for muh-self in NY. |
| ________________________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 11:32am - NOT A Santa Cruz COP ""] i heard you kids need some help going back to Cali, i gots puppy dawgs, candy and some good ole fashion john denver tapes to listen to on the ride back to the westside booooooooooy. |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 11:40am - ouchdrummer ""] warrants suck ass... I had one for a "Hit and Run" which wasnt' really that at all, it was a racist bitch from dorchester accousing me of hitting her because she was black.. and then telling the cops i ran. The actually waited outside my friends house where i was parked, and arrested me when i came out and got into my car. Bummer. ANOTHER couple thousand on lawyers fees, AND another year of probation. bummer. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 12:37pm - grizloch ""] my uncle skipped town when he found out he had a warrant in ny, lived in florida for about 5 years, came back and got pulled over for speeding, at the trial the judge told him to stay lost and he wouldnt go to jail, ahhh 1970's, when men were still men... unless they were women... |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 1:37pm - CtB0rderpatrol ""] did someone say warrant? [img] |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 19,2008 5:27pm - RichHorror ""] Sweet, I have an arrest warrant in Quincy. |
| __________________________________________ [Jul 19,2008 5:30pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] RichHorror said:Sweet, I have an arrest warrant in Quincy. what for? |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 19,2008 5:31pm - RichHorror ""] Court fines. I has them. |
| ______________________________ [Jul 19,2008 6:45pm - guy ""] new hanpshire and somerville warrants |
| __________________________________ [Jul 19,2008 7:15pm - dertoxia ""] isn't all the stuff tied to one system? i thought if you had a 16 year old unpaid parking ticket in Kalamazoo and you got pulled over somewhere in Alaska, when the cop runs your license he's legally obligated to arrest you and notify the place where the warrant is from. unless thats just something i learned on Dog the Bounty Hunter |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 19,2008 7:23pm - xanonymousx ""] i believe that is true.... so just don't do anything stupid well forever.... maybe posting that here isn't the best thing to do? but hey the government has much better things to do for disordley conduct right???? |